The Big Dipper
I stand out in the desert on a summer evening. A warm breeze passes by, gently caressing my face and filling me with a sense of the magic and wonder of the night. I take in all of the beauty surrounding me; close my eyes and breathe deeply of the pure and wild fragrance on the air. Ahh... I smell Joshua trees and cacti mixed with a hint of wildflowers. Such a unique and fascinating blend of scents it is, different from any I have ever known before.
*~*
I look up at the night sky now. Deep, black majestic, it stretches on and on endlessly, leaping over the mountains far in the distance; not blocked by either buildings, houses or trees, but sprinkled all over with a sparkling display of stars cast by God's own hand.
~*~
Beautiful stars, so many surround me. And yet I have no telescope, no binoculars. With only my naked eye I can see hundreds of stars in the desert night sky. But as I look over this marvelous display, there is only one constellation I truly seek.
*~*
I am no astronomer and it takes me a while to pinpoint its exact location. Finally, after a few minutes of sorting through the stars, I find it. Shining out in all its glory, I find the seven stars that make up the Big Dipper. to most people, this constellation is simply fun and comical, the object of much imagination. But to me, it means more...it is the object of much memory.
~*~
I am taken back to a different time and a very different place. The place is the city, a land filled with bright street lights and corporation buildings, loud cars, and tall houses. I am five years old, an energetic, scheming young girl with blue eyes, brown hair, and a strong strong will.
*~*
I like to spend time with my Grammy. She is fun to play with, and although I keep her on her toes, I know I fill her life with sunshine! We are playing in her garage one evening when she says, "Let's go have a look at the stars!" I get excited as she picks up my little sister and we walk out into the alley between my garage and hers.
~*~
My Grammy knows the name of one constellation and only one. As we stand there, our heads pointed upward, scanning the sky, she says to me, "Let's find the Big Dipper...Help me find the Big Dipper."
*~*
Just then my mother walks out of my garage and comes over to see what we are doing. "We're looking for the Big Dipper!" I inform her enthusiastically, pointing to the sky. All all four of us stare until our necks begin to ache.
~*~
But alas! The smog and bright lights of the city block everything but the moon, the North Star, and a few other particularly bright stars. Mama turns to Grammy and says, "It's just too cloudy tonight, Ma. We'll have to try again some other night. But now it's time for the girls to get to bed."
*~*
I am disappointed, but not as much as Grammy is. I am not sure whether she is more sad at not finding the Big Dipper or at having to say goodbye to us. Reluctantly, she kissed my sister and hands her to Mama, then bends down to give me a hug. I'll never forget the look on her face as we leave.
~*~
As I reminisce about all this tonight, my mind is also filled with many other things.
The stars have changed since then. they have become brighter, clearer, more vivid. I too have changed a bit. I am now a tall, gray-eyed young woman of sixteen.
*~*
I look up at that familiar constellation and cannot help but wish so badly that my Grammy could be here to see it with me. Then it occurs to me that maybe she can. In fact, i bet Grammy can experience all the glory of the Dipper even closer and more vividly than i ever will be able to here on earth. She may be sitting on the end of that enormous ladle right now, enjoying the universe from a new perspective and looking down on me. I know she is now so much closer to many of the things she loves, then when she was on earth.
~*~
I wave to my Grammy and blow her a kiss. I know that she saw and returned it with a smile.
*~*~*~*
Still needs a bit of editing, I know. But now you know how I fill me spare time! :-)
Queen of the Cats
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